I am 18 and GAY and CRAZY with ANXIETY and ADD so how do I apply for social security benefits/disability?

I am an 18 year old gay male with serious mental problems and I just want kill myself before I get worse. I cannot take it anymore. I NEED to get on social security because I cannot work anymore and I don't live with my parents. I have Generalized Anxiety Disorder with Depersonalization as a symptom and ADD. I was emotionally and physically abused almost my whole life, my mom has had several boyfriends who she let abuse me and one of them even spit in my face and called me a ******. I never had a normal conversation with my father because he is a Paranoid Schizophrenic. I am no longer living with my parents but with a gay man in his 40's. All I have is my car with a quarter tank of gas in it, about $5 in my chase account and my suitcases, that is it. I either need to get on medication or commit suicide. I'm planning on committing suicide tonight when the moon rises. I am unable to work because of my mental illness how do I get on social security and how do I do it fast????!?!?